Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Fun with Phiippine Phish

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Cheeky Fellow Seeks Cash From Formerly Overweight Writer

Not the musical group from the early 90s. They are neither foreign, nor do they seek money from me via a scam launched with an old email. Nevertheless, I'm being phished via an ancient account belonging to my cousin's hub. Here is the pitch:

 I'm in Manila, Philippine right now with my family on Holiday and I'm short on cash right here, I tried to access my account from the cash machines here and it's not working, I went to the bank to withdraw and I was informed that I cannot withdraw money from my account in some countries,that it's network errors, I'm thinking if I could get a quick loan of $1,500 from you or anything you can afford to loan me so that I can clear some little things here and also take a cab to the airport. I promise to refund it as soon as I get back home Friday morning, let me know so I can send you my details.


Waiting to hear from you.
I respond:

As you know, I've earned my living for years shooting rabid dogs for the county of Los Angeles.
Due to recent cutbacks, I'm afraid that money has been tight.
I could send you a large jar of change. I don't know if there's $1,500 inside, but the jar
is very large.

Let me know. 

Also, I read somewhere that many of the cash machines in Manila operate by
placing sugar cane into a slot. Did you try that? 

Yours in the Purity of Our Essence,

JP 

The next move is up to Mr. Phish.

Oh, did I mention "formerly overweight?" Yes, I believe I did. My iintermittent fasting diet continues to show results. Last month, I discarded an additional two inches off my waist. I'll weigh myself later today and see where matters rest after two months.

In case you've never seen the Northern Lights, neither has Phish.


Friday, August 26, 2016

Fast, Write, Run


Intermittent fast, write short-stores, and chi run, to be specific. This constitutes the bulk of my days. Fast continues into the second month. I overdid it yesterday, because I barely made it to my eight-hour chow block without cheating. Ah, but good old protein did the trick and I'm fine today.



My short story, "Growth," a tale of Hollywood, giant actors, and resentment, was kindly rejected by the venerable Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. On to the next market. Meanwhile, my story of a man involved with a jealous succubus continues to wax and wane in size like the very moon. I like the set-up, but can't seem to locate the ending. More effort, I think.

Today is a running day and I look forward to loping around the perimeter of the Wilson-Harding Golf Course in Griffith Park. On non-running days I used to ride my exercise bike to pump up the cardio. However,  I broke a pedal. Now the bike serves as wardrobe stand.

In a few weeks, I'm away to the Pacific Northwest to visit family and participate in a chi running workshop with the big dog himself, Danny Dreyer. Here's hoping I glean some tips to make me a more relaxed, injury free runner.

A pleasant weekend to you!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill in The Watch

This film aired on cable not too long ago. Back in the day, my friend Randy and I wrote a screenplay about a Neighborhood Watch in Hollywood. It was nothing like this film, but Randy tried like heck to sell it. (I went back to college.) Nevertheless, I thought The Watch really had it's moments as Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill grill a young prisoner.


The Watch

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The Many Writing Tips of Stephen King


quotes

Horror Master Offers Advice

After 54 novels and 200 short stories, author Stephen King might've gleaned an insight or two from the writing game. Certainly blogs of all kinds have shared his know-how. (As I am doing now.) Here are a few posts containing writing tips, rules, and guidelines, courtesy of the Man From Maine.   

Stephen King's Top 7 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer

Stephen King's 20 Tips

Stephen King's 5 Writing Tips

Stephen King's 10 Writing Tips

Stephen King's Top Twenty Rules

FullStop

Sci-Fi Fantasy Story Submitted for Consideration

Much further down the writing food chain, I've finally sent something out: a tale of show biz, giants and resentment. For a guy determined to publish/place 15 short stories in six months, I'm so far averaging a short story every 30 days. My first offering departed yesterday at 3000 words (approx. 16 double-spaced pages). I'm in motion with the second story, but it's changed radically and I'm still wrestling with a first draft. (But at least I know the ending.) Alas, Dame Life has dropped in with her basket of car-tax-household troubles and time evaporates like whiskey on a drunkard's lips. But I struggle on, as is the way of Mankind.

Workprint

Monday, August 08, 2016

Intermittent Fasting at One Month


clipart.com

Cheap Weight Loss Method Works Fast

Yesterday marked the first month of my intermittent fasting whereby I fast 16 hours a day, leaving myself an eight hour chow window. Other than cutting way, way back on sweets, I didn't count calories or avoid carbs. Regardless of what I consumed, I found I ate less. 

Exercise consisted of walking and/or running a few miles, stationary cycling, and yoga 3 to 5 times a week. Exercise was always done during fast periods. 

After a step on the scale and a stretching of the tape measure, the results are in: I lost two inches off my waist and 12 pounds. 

I'm quite pleased and celebrated by eating four cakes. (Just kidding.) I shall continue through August into early September and see what pound-consuming wonders the next month holds. 

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Intermittent Fasting and I


Fat Writer Works on Losing Weight

In  January, I weighed 266 pounds as a result of post-op recovery and writing two books in 2015. My waist was a svelte 48.5 inches. All I could wear were shorts with a moon-sized waist and sweat pants.  So in February, I started walking and stationary biking, doing what I could. By May, I'd dropped 12 pounds, but then put a few back in June. 

Then I heard over at Ace of Spades HQ about this thing called intermittent fasting. As they say over at Nerd Fitness:

"Intermittent fasting is not a diet, but rather a dieting pattern. In simpler terms: it's making a conscious decision to skip certain meals. By fasting and then feasting on purpose, intermittent fasting means eating your calories during a specific window of the day, and choosing not to eat food during the rest."


For the past three weeks, I've been eating during a 6 to 8 hour window every day. The other 16 - 18 hours I don't munch so much as a grape. I exercise 4 to 5 times a week, mostly easy running, always undertaken during the fasting period. 

I feel a bit peckish in the morning, but getting busy on the day's stories overwrites such thoughts. Far less junk food passes my lips and I've yet to be hit with the starvation mode munchies.

In three weeks, I've lost nine pounds. I'll post again on this at the month mark, August 7.

Read more of this intermittent fasting business here

Or check out the amusing and informative Hodge Twins as they chat about intermittent fasting in their street-wise, earthy way. 


Friday, July 22, 2016

Short Story Tsunami Underway

I want a JP Mac story, Okay?

Author Aims to Place 15 Short Stories in Six Months.


And not for the first time. (That was Ten-in-Six for those who visited here back in 2009.)  I haven't published a short story since 2012 and that's too stinking long. So off we go again. To date, I have one story with beta readers, one in first draft, and an writing the first draft on a third. I shall probably relay on Duotrope to help me locate markets. Updates when I place. This time out, I crave a spot in  Asimov's Science Fiction. Away, away!

Hallow Mass Hungry for Readers

Give me 50 reviews now.

Yes, this horror tale cries out for fresh eyes. Eyes that read and enjoy the story of a grad school party girl who must risk a ghastly death in order to save the world. Lovecraft lovers will enjoy the many references to the "Dunwich Horror." Those indifferent to Lovecraft will enjoy the story anyway. Available in soft cover and fine eBook formats only at Amazon. 

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