Dear Mr. McCann,Thank you for many years of patient investment in RS Gannon Macaroons, makers of fine macaroon products and derivatives. As we leave behind a rocky 2008, I wanted to provide you our thoughts on the market and how it has affected the overall value of your shares.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, I'm sorry. This is serious. Several indicators point, heeheeheeheehee. Wait. Wait. Give me a minute. Hrmmm. There.
Historically, recessions such as the one we're currently in have lasted, oh, hahahahahaha. Bwaaaahahaha. I . . . I . . . 'Value?' Haha. Monopoly money has more value than your shares. BWOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, what a stuffing you took! You were shagged and bagged and dry humped by leopards! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Please maintain a long-term view.
Sincerely,
Ottis Frah,
Chief Executive Officer
RS Gannon Macaroons
7 comments:
I get the feeling Ottis used to work in college financial aide somewhere. I seem to remember getting several similar form letters several years ago. Had to have been him.
You may be right.
There were many Frahs and they circulated.
Regarding the decreased value of your stock holdigns in RS Gannon Macaroons, CEO Ottis Frah stated bluntly: "You were shagged and bagged and dry humped by leopards!"
I find Mr. Frah's candor and directness and colorful language (including beastiality) to be a refreshing change of pace from the typical press releases and correspondences currently being sent out by most CEOs hoping to calm the qualms of shareholders.
I for one plan to buy as much RS Gannon Macaroons stock as possible, as soon as it hits 3¢ per share. At that point, I figure for about 50 bucks I might be able to stage a hostile takeover of the company and then, well, you know, I'll never be wanting for macaroons again, you can bet on that.
T
I, too, once dreamed of being fat with macaroons.
But as it stands, Frah may be appointed to the Treasury as a reward for safely landing RS Gannon Macaroons on the bottom.
If it ever reaches a cent and a half, I'm selling.
[off topic here]
I saw Ricardo Montalban's biography today. I decided I would watch to see if they talked at all about his voice acting roles, but they did just as I expected them to do. "And then there was some cartoons, THE END." I'm not even sure there was a complete sentence in there. I stupidly hoped they might do an interview with someone who worked with him during those years, but of course not. Silly me.
I blame Paul Rugg, he spoiled us with his little tribute.
Paul's will be the best tribute Ricardo gets as far as "Freakazoid" goes.
When Jonathan Harris died, they mentioned his animated features, but not "Freakazoid."
But that is the way of things. The work lives on.
I'm reminded of why I don't normaly watch E! and all the crazy shows/magazines like it.
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